I'll go shut down myself. <English>

Seriously, I don't know what to say anymore. 

I mean I really don't know. 

Wow.

It's just too much I can't figure why.

First, why people always get so "physical", make comments about my appearance or I don't know, style? 

I was born this way and I have to wake up every morning in this body and see myself through the mirror. I can't change the way I look and if I can, it is a sin, I shall not do that. 

Second, my attitude. Yes, I am young, sometimes too young. That means you can tell that I can't do this thing and that thing and stuff, I can't blablabla. If you really care, I mean really CARE. Tell me what I am supposed to do. HELP ME to improve. Not just stating me that I am so lalala that I can't lalala. Pointing all my flaws. Stop underestimating, okay? And also overestimating, I am a growing person. If you just do harm, you can just leave. I don't need you. Yeah, every "you" exists in the world. I'm not a toy,okay? Please don't laugh at me all day. I'm not a joke. If you still think I'm one, go home and see me in 5 years to 10. Tell me what I did wrong, tell me what I am just too stupid to realize. Tell me.

You don't see me crying. But "you" are the reason. So, please just stop, give me some room to grow. Please. Thank you. 

Jejak

Menyibukkan diri itu penting,

1 bulan ini ntah mengapa saya gak mengedepankan akademis, tapi ngedepankan pertumbuhan. Mulai dari "mengukhtikan" diri, bersih2, masak, kerajinan tangan, sosialisasi, baito.... Hal-hal yang jarang bener saya lakukan dari lahir sampe lulus SMA.

Jujur saya orangnya sebenernya introvert lalala, mau diem aja di rumah, hikikomori. Tapi saya sadar di dunia ini yang merupakan kunjungan sementara saya saya mau ninggalin jejak apa? Kontribusi apa? Untuk berkontribusi saya perlu membentuk diri saya sedemikian rupa untuk menjadi orang yang bermanfaat. Tapi....

Sampai saat ini maaf ya ibu bapak adek sodara nenek tante om keluarga besar

Maaf ya temen2

 

Maaf ya semua

Kinan masih suka ngambek, suka nyebelin, suka seenaknya, jorok, panikan, aneh, maaf ya. Semoga kedepannya Kinan terus jadi dewasa dan gak kaya gitu lagi. Maaf.